Unfriended

I was quietly unfriended by someone I’ve known for nearly 30 years. After working together in the early parts of our careers, we’d been witnesses to the deepest valleys and peak experiences of life.

We shared the trauma of a horrible boss and a love of music. We bonded in closed-door debriefs of terrible meetings and life updates.

They were a Lincoln Republican and I a Carter Democrat. We navigated the gap by building bridges, finding pathways to our similarities with a willingness to discuss the roots of our differences.

And then the gap grew. And grew. And grew.

The once steady bridge began to crumble under the weight of the values gap. What could once be seen as a difference in politics became a canyon separating worldviews. 

And yet, I still wanted to celebrate their wins and shared humanity. I found it helpful to read their Ultra-MAGA posts to break my own bubble of insulated Anti-MAGA perspectives. It certainly never changed my mind, but it did remind me that, outside of my algorithm, there was a universe of other people’s truths.

And then I noticed silence. No more posts savoring their romances and no more celebrating government policies. I was curious and worried that life may have taken a sad turn.

So I hit the search button.

Unfriended.

Cut off. Cut out. Cut.

I know some would say “good riddance.” Some have begged to be unfriended, not wanting to be tethered to the other side.

My heart sees it differently.

There will be an AFTER this time.

There will be another President, Cabinet, Congress, and Supreme Court. And in this after, we may be even closer to the brink of civil war. Or we may be praying the other side will support "our" leader.

Broken bridges and broken relationships won't serve us on the other of this four years. We'll still have Thanksgivings and funerals. We'll still have the memories of friendships that once existed without an underlying river of discomfort.

There is an after-this and I want to find that one truth survived it: Love Thy Neighbor.

Yes, I'll be continuing to speak out and, I'm sure, will continue to receive dissenting opinions in return. But I'll also be seeking opportunities for repair. I'll happily bring the supplies to rebuild those bridges.

I'll stand at the other side with open arms, cheering on the humanity that I still see in you.

And hoping that you are still trying to see it in me.