What is right?

I had been wallowing in the muck for weeks. Following a wonderful holiday season, with the opportunity to spend time with family and friends from out of town, the sadness of their absence has enveloped me. In particular, I missed my sister whose comforting presence dramatically changed the essence of my days.

And, I kept my focus on what wasn’t right. I was fixated on my disappointment that she wasn't there to celebrate milestones with me, or to be a first-hand observer of the little things that create connectedness between two people.

Do you have your own unique fixation with what isn’t? Perhaps you focus on your belief that parts of your body aren’t how you’d like them to look or feel. Maybe you focus on what isn’t in your bank account or what job opportunity you haven’t had.

But, in thinking about that period of time with my sister, there was so much to appreciate about what was right. You’ve heard the saying, “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” This was absolutely true for us; we were closer, in heart, more than ever. And, in fact, because she was out-of-state, we talked to one another more than we ever would if she had been just across town. 

I have a friend who learned this lesson as well. This friend was struggling with debilitating chronic pain and, every day, the pain seemed to show up in a new place and in a new way. When this began, upon waking each day, her first instinct was to note the area of the pain and focus on the disappointment and fear of the limitations that would be present that day. 

Then, she made an amazing thought-shift. She decided that instead of focusing on what hurt, she would place her attention on the parts of her body that did not hurt. And, even further, would intentionally assess and recognize what she was still able to do with those parts. That is a decision to focus on what is right and what does feel good. 

Shifting our thoughts and energies toward an appreciation of what is right regenerates our spirit and allows us to recreate our perspective of the present. We can practice gratitude as a way of life instead of ungratefully continuously coveting what isn’t.

Coaching Inquiries: What doesn’t hurt? What feels good? What feels right?